Point A: "A Second Opinion:" Past, Present, and Future
First of all: the "A Second Opinion" series going on over at the Gumball Wiki will be, for now, temporarily stopped.*Initially, I was going to keep powering through, but I need a break. The largest issue is in terms of an audience: even if this blog (that is, Unfunny Guy) doesn't have a particularly vocal one, I can at least watch the analytics and figure out what I'm doing right or wrong. The Gumball Wiki blog, however, depends on user commenting and interaction to denote an active viewership, which quite frankly isn't working out too much.
There are a couple of reasons. First of all is the fact that it's such a repetitive concept. That's the point, sure, but by now, I assume people just think it's all "going through the motions." I'm definitely not just going through the motions myself - I'm trying harder than ever - though it has been interesting to see how the posts been getting less and less attention to the state of essential drought, and all I'm left thinking is, "What's the point?" It's unwillingly become fatigued; it's run dry. It's not a novelty anymore so much as something you glare at the title of before continuing to scroll down, and it's a bit disheartening.
There's also the fact that the crux might be getting weaker and weaker. It's interesting, I'd like to think, to see someone defending bad episodes of the show. Underrated episodes, though? It's conceptually fine, but instantly agreeable, so there's no challenging the perceived audience's expectations, and with even less to debate, the point of commenting is almost obsolete. Meanwhile, I thought that "The ___ Problem" would drum up similar attention, but once again, the agreeableness became an issue once more.
I know there are people who appreciate it (I'm sure more than I'm aware of), and it's certainly been a successful experiment for me, but I feel like I'm in the same general rut as I was penning at my first blog, (don't click - it's not that great, honestly) which at this point is basically stagnant. I started out with an engaged audience writing about Gumball, but that quickly wore down and basically dissipated to two different people commenting on a good week. A lack of feedback gives way to waning interest - that, for instance, is why some of the posts came out a day late.
In other words, I'm writing myself into a hole. And people, for the sake of the analogy, hate holes. Writing those last few articles was riddled with the philosophical musings of if my time was being wasted or not, and I'm still not sure.
The question then becomes, "What do I do when I bring it back?" Well, I was going to start by getting some community input in the form of a second set of "Individual Appeals" articles, but that's really only a short-term solution. Should it be back on a fixed schedule? Should it be sporadic? Who knows? The whole reason I planned it out to be week-after-week was to retain and entertain a following of people, but that idea didn't really work out too well.
I guess I just have to put myself out there more. Discord's a thing right? Terrifying. In the spirit of trying new things, though, I'll do it. Eventually. Like, before summer's over. Hold me prisoner to my words. The introversion is corrosive, and let me tell you, it's dreadful.
Point B: Experimentation
With my Gumball Wiki writing killed off for a while, I'm going to turn attention back over here and work out something new.The general idea is, since summer presents decent stretches of time without much pressure, I'll be able to do more, and I'm going to take advantage of that time with some new ideas.
The main one, and the one that I can positively assert will be happening, is "Cartoon Splurge." The basic premise is that I'll be watching cartoons that I've been wanting to check out season by season and writing analytic essays on each of them to sort of document my thoughts. (The first one, discussing the first season of Star vs. the Forces of Evil, is already out, and it's one of the best things I've written over here!) The general idea is that I can both expand upon my knowledge of what shows are out there and hopefully expand the scope of my audience and get more involved in other communities as well.
I also have some miscellaneous essays planned to keep myself entertained more than anything else, but that shouldn't concern anyone that much.
Basically, there's a lot to do, and summer's just about the right time to start figuring that all out.
*There is currently a collaboration that I've been trying to work at for the past two months that was intended to end this iteration of "A Second Opinion." It's making progress, but I think it counter-productive to push for its creation too much, so I'm letting it work itself out in its own time - patience is a virtue.
I wanted to post the rest of my comment here, but as usual my mind has been overwhelmed by the voices in my head and thus I have lost my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI remember one thing, though.
Can I ask you something?
Do you love to write stuff like this?
Because if you do, that's great. That means you're in the rare position where you're really good at what you love to do.
What made me ask this question, you say? Well... what you said seemed to imply... "this isn't worth doing if nobody looks at it."
It reminded me of something that Klayton, one person that I look up to, once said.
"It is too easy to get caught up in people's opinions. Opinions are said to be like a**holes. Everyone's got one and they all stink. It is impossible to please everyone and chasing that is the end of true art. I completely appreciate when people let me know that they relate or enjoy my art. I'm still a little unsure how to handle it, but I appreciate it nonetheless."
Now I'm not saying you do this solely for attention or comments or a following, but I would just like to make sure you haven't fallen victim to that trap; the end of true art.
You're a great writer, one that I look up to, so it would be a shame if you've lost the passion for it. Since the blogs, I've looked forward to everything you've planned to write next. I still look forward to whatever you want to write about, even non-TAWoG content.
I applaud you for making this far despite a more or less silent audience. That is no easy task, and I understand the burnout. I hope it is only temporary.
Do what you love to do. Do it for you and no one else.
Doesn't have to be on a schedule. Doesn't need to be about a character, a "bad" episode, or even TAWoG. Just write about something. I'd read it, definitely.
I have also felt the burns from introversion's corrosion. It really isn't pleasant. So now I admonish you to break free from it, even a little bit, by joining us over at a Discord server. Guy is on there too, and I'm sure he'd be glad to chat with you as well. Here is the link: https://discord.gg/JNV8drD
I feel like there's more that I want to say, but I'm finding it impossible to form words at the moment. You're not the only suffering from burnout, it seems. Anyway, I hope my blabbering made a bit of sense and didn't make you pull your hair out over how incoherent it is.
God bless.
~ Game, aka Villicus
I do love to write. I suppose I wrote the vast majority of this update in the midst of a frustration-addled night, and I found myself repeatedly trying to cut it down, further and further. Truth be told, I was scared of putting it up for the world to see at all, but some part of me assured that it had to be said, and I was tired of whittling at it and feeling none the more comfortable with the final product. I just had to say something, however unseemly, however externally arrogant it may come off. It's a moment transfixed in time, more than less.
DeleteI just feel that Abraham Maslow and his hierarchy of needs ring true at times - I can't leap to true self-actualization, the so-called, idealized, end-of-the-road, without external appreciation. I don't want to be a petty person, and I certainly wouldn't label myself as such, but I really did find myself pushing harder than ever to try to entertain an audience that I wasn't even sure existed. I never compromised my integrity in the process, but I exhausted myself, and pushing myself to the limit without any foreseeably different outcome was just... draining.
And I need to clarify that this is something I've been doing more for myself than anyone else. I think of it as furthering my understanding of comedy; I want to be autodidactic, in a sense, in actually having a legitimate understanding and appreciation of the ins-and-outs of it all. Even so, sometimes I just have to wonder if it even helps at all, if I'm averting a natural understanding by artificially framing it as institutional instead of instinctive, and it's something that I'm incredibly vulnerable of. It's almost a curse, and I've lost my appreciation of so much else; it's all weirdly elitist, and I think that's what's so polarizing. Am I too serious? Can I not just accept something as funny without dissecting it into some unseemly mess? I don't know. I feel more critical, almost robotic at times, and it only makes me feel worse.
I just have to accept where I'm at. I can't be angry at myself for what I can't achieve, and I can't be angry at other people for not abiding by my paltry desires. In writing all of this, I've come to realize that I'm dangerously close to being in the wrong, if I haven't already fallen into it already: I shouldn't do this for anyone more than myself, and that I was pushing harder than ever for the wrong incentives is just another reason of why I need to take a few months and reconfigure myself.
I've noticed you're feeling under the weather yourself, and the least I can do for you is let you know that you're one of the nicest people I've come to know online, and your words always mean the world to me. Stay safe.